A Dean, a Sex Worker, a Pipe, and a Pig: A Fable

Drug addiction doesn’t make you a stupid ass, but it drives you to make stupid ass choices.

That’s what happened to the Dean of the USC Keck School of Medicine, Dr. Carmen A. Puliafito.

This vato sounds like a real G and should get a record deal. His lifestyle would put any modern-day rapper to shame. He’s got money, drugs, goons, a wifey and a mistress.

A recent story by the LA Times describes how this dude was quick to put hands on another doctor back in Miami – even caught an assault and battery case for it.

But that’s not the best part of this rich White criminal conspiracy tale!

According to the report, Dr. Puliafito and his squad smoked so much fucking meth and heroin that you could change the famous USC fight song to “Light On”.

So who is this controversial Ivory Tower triple OG?

Dr. Carmen Puliafito is a big time eye surgeon who graduated from Harvard Medical School and invented a laser technology that changed the game in treating eye disease.

He “resigned” from his $1.1 million a year job  at USC after his bosses found out about his improprieties.

You know who resigns a job that pays that much dinero? People who are “asked to resign” cause of their indiscretions. Translation they are fucking fired – the way professional White people get fired.

The LA Times investigation describes Puliafito as a 66-year-old who was “Netflix & Chilling” with a 22-year-old sex worker he met online, Sarah Warren.

Puliafito rented apartments for Sarah, gave her spending money, and paid her legal bills – she sounds like a real Pendejx who keeps getting arrested.

He “adopted” this chica mala and became her sugar daddy. Not like the vatos who slide in your DM and can’t even take you to Tacos El Gavilán or pay for your Lyft ride home. Aprende!

But, here’s the real problem with this ivory tower fiasco – this chica overdosed on GHB while she and Puliafito got high in a room of one of Pasadena’s swanky hotels.

An employee at the hotel called the cops and paramedics who took Warren to the hospital. Six hours later, Warren and Puliafito went back to the same hotel and kept getting high!

The only reason why we are learning about this story is cause an anonymous caller alerted the LA Times that Pasadena police treated this ordeal like it wasn’t a big deal.

As someone who has struggled to recover from alcoholism and drug use, I can tell you that addiction is a mutherfucker and all this shit is normal in the life of an addict. But, don’t be fooled in thinking that the chorizos didn’t give this couple preferential treatment – even though this coulda landed the odd couple in jail. The chorizos didn’t even fill out a report!

This is a clear case of? You guessed it! Race and class privilege. Cause if this was me kicking it at the Snooty Fox, smoking meth with some chica mala, the SWAT team woulda kicked down the door and dragged my Guatemalan ass outta the heart-shaped bathtub and took me and the chica to County.

Stay safe, stay off the pipe, and stay in your lane!


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