*Updated to include Assembly District 45
It’s been a minute since we last hit you with that hot fire. To be honest, we’re glad because we, too, were fucking exhausted of putting out voter guides every month. But alas, we had a little break and now we are back with the force of a thousand Chapulines Colorados!
This year is huge ‘cause we have a national mid-term election and a Governor’s race in California.
We know that you can barely track your calories so we won’t burden you with tracking all these candidates and propositions! We’ll come back to those elections later this year!
Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty of the races going down in a hood near you.
These special elections are jumping off on April 3rd. Three areas in Los Angeles will vote for their next state assembly representative. All three seats are currently open for different reasons, albeit all those reasons are embarrassing.
Click here to learn WTF the Assembly does and why you should care!
The first one covers parts of the East San Fernando Valley (District 39), the second one the West San Fernando Valley (District 45), and the third one covers parts of South Central and West LA (District 54).
In each race, one of the candidates running has to get more than 50 percent of the votes or else the top two vote-getters advance to a runoff on June 5th – the day of the 2018 California primary.
Repeat those facts next time you’re at the bar or at your homie’s carne asada and you’ll wow the fuck outta people!
But, I digress.
Here are the Vota Vato endorsements.
In District 39: Antonio Sanchez: Before I tell you about Antonio, let me share a little about why this seat is vacant. Former Assemblyman Raul Bocanegra chucked the deuces after several women accused him of sexual misconduct.
This is the second L that Bocanegra has taken while representing this district. He will also go down in history for losing this seat back in 2014 to Patty Lopez, a community activist who raised money by selling pupusas and tamales for her campaign.
Of all of the candidates running this time around, Antonio Sanchez has the best chance at giving District 39 a shot at a decent assembly member.
We’ll excuse his own blunderous race for LAUSD School Board District 6 back in 2013. We knew then that he wanted to be in the state assembly and here we are.
Antonio just needs to get his public safety priorities in order – no we don’t need more police in our communities or schools. Sure that shit works when you’re a candidate, but fuck the police. We will be watching!
Luz Rivas is also running in this race. She has an impressive personal story, but not much of a platform. She’s also endorsed by the same political machine- in the East Valley- who gave us Raul Bocanegra and Felipe Fuentes. So, here we are.
Patty Lopez, who was mentioned earlier in this beautiful work of literary art, is running again. But she’s already showed us that not all of the kids on the baseball team deserve a trophy.
Sure we need more women in office and running a grassroots campaign is commendable. Shit, I even give her props for actually winning! But she’s already demonstrated her incompetence to hold public office.
I love my tias and their pupusas and tamales, but I ain’t trying to have them make decisions over state policy and budget.
District 45: Tricia Robbins Kasson: Ok. Let me take a deep breath before I tell you about this race. Bocanegra’s situation sounds troubling, but this shit right here is outright despicable.
The reason we are having this special election is that former Assemblyman Matt Dababneh resigned after allegations surfaced of sexual misconduct and other bullshit he pulled – no pun intended.
According to the woman who’s accusing him, they were at the same party and Dababneh followed her into the restroom, pulled out his salchicha, and asked her to touch it.
There are different scumbag levels – and all of us men need our “Come to Jesus” moment – but this shit right here is straight biblical.
I imagine St. Peter staring at his notes – not sure why, but in my mind, he looks and sounds a lot like Big Worm in Friday. Anyhow, St. Peter is staring at his notepad then looks up at Dababneh and asks, “Boy, why the fuck are you in my line?” Then St. Peter closes his window and flips the “Went to Lunch” sign.
St. Peter is right ‘cause there’s some shit that just can’t be forgiven. I don’t care how much you repent.
But, I digress.
The choice in this race was not easy. In fact, the two top candidates have a few things in common. They’re both White liberals. They both proclaim to love immigrants and defend DACA, and they both have extremely problematic pro-police stands. Matter of fact, they both believe that we need more police in schools too. Sigh!
Tricia Robbins Kasson gets the nod ‘cause she has a more robust platform. Her ideas are well articulated and she has a history of working in that area. We’ll dismiss that she currently works for a whiny-ass closeted-conservative LA council member.
Other than the “put an officer on every school campus” pendejadas, she has some decent ideas. She also has a lot of endorsements from a diverse group of progressive leaders.
Jesse Gabriel is the other leading candidate in this race. In fact, he’s raised more money than all others. He has a track record of filing lawsuits against the Trump administration on behalf of immigrants, but his platform isn’t well-cooked. He’s backed by several high-caliber notables though. He also has that “give a cop a gun, save a life” bullshit ass philosophy. So, nah!
For the record, former Los Angeles city councilman, Dennis Zine, announced in February that he was dropping out of the race. His name is still on the ballot, tho, so don’t vote for him!
Assembly District 54: Sydney Kamlager: Sydney shoulda been won this seat a long time ago.
In fact, she was the person who we all were hoping to vote for, back in 2013, when Holly Mitchell left this seat to run for the California state Senate.
Many were lined up to support Sydney. But, LA County Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas- being the overly confident man that he is- decided to back his own 26-year-old son, Sebastian Ridley-Thomas, for the post instead.
Sebastian didn’t disappoint in disappointing us. So here we are.
Sydney is a thoughtful and practical leader with strong values. We are excited to see how far she’ll take this district!